Hangin’ In There

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I’m baaaaack!

Thanks for sending so many lovely emails and cards to cheer me!

It’s been a bit of a struggle of late.

My Sweetheart has had some very rough days with his chemo and its complications. We’ve spent far too much time in Emergency Rooms at 2 a.m. and whole days get devoured at treatment centers.

The truth is: We were both just plain pooped out and frazzled! We really needed a “long winter’s nap” with a little extra dash of hope & seasonal joy. We needed to burrow into our snug little cave and cuddle up and just let the world take care of itself for a while. We needed to remember…

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I know, I know. Seems I have to remind myself of this magnificent truth over and over again. But I’m starting to get it and this little break really helped cement the wisdom of it for me.

Tis the season, after all, and it’s all about the fa-la-la and the “be merry” cuz it’s “the most wonderful time of the year” messaging being pumped full-force into the stores and the media…but, frankly, I was just not feelin’ it. I was just not feelin’ like glitzing it all up, sprinkling glitter on it, and wrapping it up with a big red satin bow.

Life is hard. Times are lean. People are sick and dying and being wounded by hate and violence all over the world. Dear friends have lost loved ones, others are facing health issues of their own, a few have lost jobs or been forced to cinch in already very tight budgets.

I’ve just barely been able to

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and I think it’s kind of rude to tell someone who’s clinging to the slenderest strand of hope in the face of sadness or despair to just

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Sometimes you just have to let go. To cry and wail and wallow in the grief and pain. Sometimes you just need to blurt out to the kind-hearted folks who offer you that cheery advice that you’re losing your grip, slipping off the radar, and going under. You need to NOT put a pretty face on it. NOT “get over it” or wait for the rainbow that’s ‘spozed to be just around the corner when all things are conspiring to rain on your parade.

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Sometimes “hanging in there” is just not possible. We live in a “buck up, walk it off, shake it out” culture. We feel such guilt and shame when we need help, when we need space, when we need to NOT plaster a brave face on our broken heart.

Sometimes, despite all the well intentioned advice, we need to shout to the world…

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and claim it for ourselves–even when other people expect cheery blog posts or lovely classes or the always happy-go-lucky Suzy Sunshine to bounce back.

So, maybe you’ve noticed, I’ve been

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I needed to close myself down for a little bit. To go quiet and let myself FEEL all the sadness and anxiety and uncertainty and pain of this last year.  To try to process the sudden critical illness of my Mom and the helplessness I felt not being able to help her out somehow. To step off the whirling carousel and sit on the park bench for a while.

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I had to make the dark, perilous journey inward and redefine myself. I had to disentangle myself from too many responsibilities and too little relief. I had to just sit out in the garden and NOT feel compelled to weed it. I had to remind myself that life is a “one day at a time” adventure and not a long-term terminal prognosis. I had to remember that I was human and flawed and tired and scared. I had to wake each day and make this vow…

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and, especially when things skidded terribly out of control, to remember

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That’s the best I can do for now.

I’m hangin’ in there, thank you.

So here’s the update:

My Mom, after a long, horrible hospital stay, is going back home (with my dear sister Kim’s loving help) for her final days. Albert continues to devote himself to the brave practice of trying to live each day with joy and purpose amid his pain and the uncertainty of his future. I am slowly recovering from some health setbacks of my own.

My friends have been a rock: bringing food, taking me to plays, sharing their love with Albert, and patiently understanding my silence.

Marnie & Kaitie

I am gradually re-emerging from my brief hiatus. There are some new class offerings for the remainder of December and lots of very cool stuff planned for the New Year. The tree is up and the house is radiant with good cheer. I am feeling much less wiped out & my tank is slowly re-filling with hope and dreams and GRATITUDE. Gratitude.

You are all a part of my blessings–my tribe–my beautiful band of merry pranksters, fabulous creative beings, and sassy, soulful sisters.

Thanks for hangin’ in there with me!

Now sign up for some classes and come play at the Cottage so we can brave forward together–sharing our love and laughter and creative power together.

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Happy Holiday Season!

Much Love and Thankfulness for you,


© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2018. All Rights Reserved.

By Kaitlin Meadows

Blessed Are the Weird!

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Eccentric, eclectic, unusual, unique, odd, nuanced, passionate, creative. All possible definitions of ARTIST. And I proudly fit that description and wear the tattered, paint splattered, cloak of it into a very frayed and jaded world with pride and aplomb.

It didn’t take me long in life to realize the “weird” people were the most interesting, had the most to say and share, and lived life with a passion and wild abandon that I craved.

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I was utterly blessed to be a child of the 60’s–deeply immersed in a cultural and political upheaval that yielded an urgency to speak up; sing, dance, write poetry, make art, and live lovingly.

I was reared on the philosophy that we are all divinely connected and intertwined and each of us has a vital role in the grand cosmology. I was blessed to live collectively with others “on the land” and to be an active part of collaborative relationships.

I was raised on barter and co-ops, shared parenting and schooling, consciousness raising circles and a moral imperative to try to make the world a kinder, more tolerant place.

But I never, ever “fit in” or ran with the “in” crowd..or, truth be told, ever wanted to…I was always the odd-duck, the one out of step, never stylish or trendy, forever lost in a book while others were at parties and out rambling in nature while others were primping for dates.

Mostly that was okay with me–I’ m a happy loner anyhow–preferring my solitude and creative pursuits to “hanging out” or shopping, but it wasn’t until I stumbled onto the inspired work of Jaocb Nordby, author of “Blessed Are The Weird,” who seemed to be speaking to me directly with this…

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Jacob Nordby’s philosophy is to exalt our weirdness and give it the deep respect it deserves. He says:

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I’ve come to realize that almost all of the writers, poets, musicians, scientists, and regular folks I admire and revere are “weird.” And, though I have some wonderfully “normal” friends and care deeply about many people who are “straight” in lots of ways–I prefer those who are odd, interesting, unique, and, in short, WEIRD!

I see weirdness as a blessing! A gift! A sacred calling! I celebrate weirdness and honor those strong enough, brave enough, “authentic” enough to be weird in a world that extols the value of “fitting in.” Blessed are the weird!

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Weirdness has responsibilities…

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and rewards…

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Weirdness requires us to

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and blesses us by attracting others to us who are unique too. So…

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Instead of feeling (as I have all of my life that I’m “not of this world”) or lamenting that I’ll never be “normal” by anyone’s standards, I now celebrate my weirdness…and admire it in others. I realize that


I see the tribe of creative women who come to play at The Creative Cottage as divine weirdos, eccentric brave-hearts, and soulful sisters of mercurial merriment.

So, come on!

Lighten your spirit, shake off your bondage to “normal,” stop worrying about what other people think…be YOU–wild wonderful weird YOU!

Do It NOW!

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Love & Blessings Fellow Weirdos!

Kaitlin (who is letting her freak flag fly!)

© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2018. All Rights Reserved.

Images from Pinterest with thanks.

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By Kaitlin Meadows

Lost Daughters of Juarez


Dia De Los Muertos season in Tucson is magical, meaningful, and profoundly moving. We are blessed to have many fine opportunities to learn about and honor the traditions of native and indigenous peoples in Tucson–including the excellent work done by  Many Mouths One Stomach, culminating in our Day of the Dead Procession on November 4. 

Perhaps my favorite way to honor this tradition is sharing the powerful celebration offered with love by Ceci and John and all those who help support Raices Gallery.


For over fifty years I have been a feminist artist activist in the tradition of the Guerrilla Girls: acting up, speaking out, and making political art. This year I am pleased to offer two pieces in the Raices Gallery Dia De Muertos show, inspired by my social justice work with women of many cultures.

My pieces: Honoring and Remembering The Lost Daughters (Mothers, Sisters, & Friends) of Ciudad Juarez


Remembering Esmeralda and Isabel:

Juarez Women

Mixed media collages by activist artist Kaitlin Meadows that contrast haunting confirmation photographs of young women (representing ultimate purity & innocence) and tattered lace and human detritus (representing the landfills & dumps in which their mutilated bodies have been discovered).


The phenomenon of the female homicides in Ciudad Juárez, called in Spanish feminicidio (“feminicide“), involves the violent deaths of hundreds of women and girls since 1993 in the northern Mexican region of Ciudad JuárezChihuahua, a border city across the Rio Grande from the U.S. city of El Paso, Texas.

The number of murdered women and girls in Ciudad Juárez since 1993 is estimated to be more than 1,500.


The murders in Juárez would not have drawn such national and international attention if it were not for the heroic efforts of the victims’ families and activist women around the world.  


 The murders of women and girls in Ciudad Juárez have received international attention, due to Mexican government inaction in preventing violence against women and girls and bringing perpetrators to justice.


Evidence suggests that a specific group of women and girls are being targeted in Ciudad Juárez. The victims share common characteristics, and there are many similarities in the violent crimes committed against them. Most of the victims are young women who come from impoverished backgrounds and work in maquiladoras, as factory workers, in other sectors of the informal economy, or are students.

Cultural academic Mercedes Olivera has argued that feminicide is a mechanism of domination, control, oppression, and power over women.


My work hopes to bring greater knowledge and compassionate response to this tragedy of loss.


In 1999, a group of feminist activists founded Casa Amiga, Juárez’s first rape crisis and sexual assault center. The center works to provide women in Juárez with a refuge against violence, therapy, legal counsel, and medical attention.  Casa Amiga also works to raise public awareness both locally and internationally regarding the exploitation and dehumanization of women in Juárez.


In 2002, a social justice movement named Ni Una Mas, which in Spanish means “not one more,” was formed to raise international awareness to violence against women in Juárez. The movement consists of a variety of domestic and international organizations and individual activists. Ni Una Mas participants demand that the Mexican state implement strategies that prevent violence against women including murder and kidnappings and that the state conduct competent investigations on crimes already committed.

All proceeds from the sale of these remembrances will go to Casa Amiga and Ni Una Mas



FRIDAY NOV 2, 2018           6:00 – 9:00 PM


218 E. 6TH STREET   TUCSON, AZ  85705

(520) 881-5335

Exhibition Dates:  Nov 2 – Nov 17, 2018









Regular gallery hours:  Fridays & Saturdays 1:00 – 5:00 pm and by appointment 

Dia de los Muertos – 2018 is sponsored in part by generous donations from:

Jerry & Dina Aguilar family / La Mesa Tortillas

Claudia Arevalo / Arevalo Law Firm LLC

Mariachi Milagro & artist David Tineo

Muchisimas Gracias!                              

Raices Taller 222 Art Gallery & Workshop is Tucson’s only Latino based nonprofit cooperative contemporary art gallery located in the Downtown Historic Warehouse District


Let us open our hearts and souls to the stories and solace of those who have passed over and yet still offer us their wisdom and grace.

All Good Blessings of the Season to You and Yours, Both Living and Passed


© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2018. All Rights Reserved.

By Kaitlin Meadows


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Do you feel it?

The season shifting?

The cooling? The softening? The diffusion of light?

The sweetness of change?


It’s my favorite time of year.

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A time I can hunker down. Slow the pace. Cultivate ease. Get cozy.

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A time to remember that all things change…that we live and die and the world keeps spinning. A time to remind myself that there is beauty in letting go.

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A time to go camping and sit by the fire with my friends, laughing and talking, for hours…

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A time for enjoying, savoring, slowing, sensing, and resetting my compass to inner peacefulness…

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A time to pack up the car and go out into the woods and celebrate!

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Though the wars wage on, though the cruelty, bigotry, and hatefulness seem  amplified at an unprecedented pitch right now, though the heart is continually bruised and battered…

Give yourself a break.

Find a quiet place to hit “pause” and sit quietly.


Refill yourself.





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Let things fall away…let things shift and settle…let yourself have a whole day in your jammies, get out your coloring books, bake something yummy, decorate the kitchen table, and  make a fire in the hearth of your heart and sit by it.

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Celebrate this season.

We have made it through another blazing bloody hot Tucson summer!

We’re making our way over hurdles and obstacles, the sad passage of friends and family, the insanity of our politics, the craziness of our world…but it takes time…and patience…and HOPE. It takes slowing down to feel all the feelings and to get them “right-sized”…it takes building a fire in the small stove of our soul and burning our burdens, releasing our fears, and getting ready to snuggle in and prepare ourselves for the seasons ahead.

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It is time to be grateful for every tiny thing that brings us joy!

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Happy, Happy Autumn My Friends!

May we enjoy it together with love and continuing resolve to be a flicker of golden light in the dark night of our souls.

Kaitlin, Autumn Celebrant

© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2018. All Rights Reserved.


By Kaitlin Meadows



I am sick of it! Appalled by it! Outraged by it!

I am angry and sad and furious and heart-broken.

But I will NOT be silenced, shamed, or ignored!

This latest moral affront is an assault on all women. But I am re-ignited. I am re-inspired. I am renewed in my resolve to take down those who collude with the devil. Our tribe of renegades tribe is a force to be reckoned with. We are NOT going down without a fierce fight.

This has GOT TO STOP!

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I’m Susie Sunshine, the healer, the muse, the mentor, the teacher, the gardener, the tender of the wounded, the protector of children,  the poet, the artist, the activist, the feminist, the WOMAN that society demonizes, despises, dismisses, marginalizes, and exploits.

But watch out, you got me MAD now! You got me up,  re-invigorated, and full of sacred rage that I will use to wage moral war against the tyrants who demean and dismiss women who speak up, woman who act up, women who DARE hold you accountable for your arrogance, misogyny and pathetic “boys will be boys” assaults!  Fair warning…

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It is time to stand in circle by the holy fire of our rage and be heard. It is time for us to convene in sacred counsel and use our gifts, our power, our voices in the clamor for justice!

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We welcome the help of all willing to speak out against the abuse of women…

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and we are willing to do what we need to do to be heard and respected. We will not fight like men who perjure themselves in the name of their dinky egos and enormous entitlement. We will fight like girls!

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Please don’t give up! Please don’t let this latest horrific saga push you down, put a hand over your mouth, laugh at you, and make you feel helpless and alone.

GET BACK THE F UP and out into the streets!

We have a moral and spiritual obligation. We have a holy right. We are amazing, powerful, creative, compassionate, STRONG women and we will not be silenced, battered, and discarded.

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I know, I know. We are weary. We are heart-sore, we are mad, we are hurt, we feel betrayed. But that’s what they want. That’s what they think will keep us down and quiet and afraid. But NO! Not me!

How about you? Will you join me and millions of women around the world who raise their voices–ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

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Every woman who ever made a difference did so because she’d had enough and wasn’t going to take it anymore. Let’s join them, support them, stand beside them, BE THEM!

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Let’s get serious. Let’s come together in small circles of power and passion. Let’s stand up together. No time to sit down or hide or give up. It’s time to take my hand and the hand of the sister beside you.

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It is time for our Sacred Rage to flare and light and warm and guide us to a higher place. Please join me at the Creative Cottage to stoke our outrage into action, our heartbreak into power, and our tribal wisdom into new ways to resist our oppression.

Let us persist!

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I am with you. Millions of women are with you. Get up! Act up! Be brave!

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All in the name of love and strength and the power of women!

We are a tribe of wonderful, terrible, divine feminine warriors who will not be shamed or silenced. We will NOT stand idly by while you abuse our sisters.

You have been warned. Cross us at your own peril. We have right on our side.

In Solidarity, Hope, and Resistance,

Kaitlin Mara


By Kaitlin Meadows

September Sabbatical

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“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” 
~ Mary Oliver

It’s been a remarkable, amazing, brimming month full of small adventures, harsh setbacks, interesting detours, bumpy back roads, and unexpected blessings.

My Sweetheart’s chemotherapy is ramping up a few notches, we’ve had some dark days, there are new complications, and summer refuses to loosen its sweaty grip but nothing can get me down…I’m off to the beach and I can already feel my heart leap and my spirits rise!


“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it’s something you design for the present.” Jim Rohn

 I’ve had my fingers-crossed for months, hoping with all my might, saying little prayers to various divine sources, that I could make this trip with my wonderful side-kick Marnie


and, miracle of miracles, we leave in the morning! The universe seems to be whispering to me…

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I LOVE road trips! Getting in the car with a fun friend, the radio blaring, the back seat full of bags & boogie boards, the sea beckoning us!

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Fabulous friends Sandi & Ski will treat us to dinner (thank you Dear Hearts!)

Sandi Ski & Kait

with a tour of their amazing gardens before sunset and we’ll stay overnight with them on the Full Corn Moon in Aries!

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They are magical old friends–Sandi & I are soul sisters who have shared soooo many beautiful times together and Ski has taught me so much about life & love! I’m so excited to spend special time with them again!

Sandi & I 25 years ago!

sandi & kait

And then Marnie & I will scamper  down to our favorite old hippie beach for several days of utter sloth and complete merriment!


Two silly, happy, beach bunnies having fun…

bathin' beauties

two old bitties causin’ trouble!

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I’ll be back soon with a load of delightful classes and fun adventures to share with you!

Check out the October class schedule and sign up quick–I miss you and can’t wait to hear all about your summer adventures too!

Meanwhile, picture me in

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and watching the sun melt into the sea!


“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake.”

Gotta go!

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Love and see you in October!

Mermaid Kait

© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows 2018. All Rights Reserved.

By Kaitlin Meadows



Life is complicated right now. On all fronts.

There are days when I feel the world is spinning too fast, the disasters are coming too often, and the global problems are just too overwhelming.

I’m just one old crone, with few resources, depleted energy, a hitch in my gitty-up, and so little power in the grand scheme of things.

It can be daunting and depressing.

But then my inner child awakens and offers a handful of scraggly daisies and a big grin and says, “please come out and play with me” and I go, often muttering under my breath that I don’t have time, there are too many things on the “to do” list, and there are so many “serious” things to attend to.

But if i spend time comforting my inner child with small gifts of joy and tiny moments of wonder, I am rewarded with delight and a brief respite from despair.


If I turn off all the electronics, unplug the phone & computer, beg out of all the obligations in my day planner, and quietly slip into a day of pure peace, punctuated with creativity, gardening, reading, dancing, and eating a whole basket of strawberries with melted chocolate, I am made whole again.

In short…I’m dedicated to a new life philosophy…

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and I have a new plan for my life…


You see, living with a loved one who is very ill can either be a heart-breaking, life-devouring, soul-eating chore…or…it can be a great life lesson, learned anew each day, about making whatever life we have left as beautiful as we can. My Sweetheart has taught me that as he struggles to “live” with a life-threatening illness. 


I am a worrier, a planner, an over-committed, under-staffed, highly achieving human being, always driven to do and be and achieve MORE. I’ve never learned to coast…I’m always pumping uphill, often in a gale. But, in order to be present and loving and patient and kind in the face of the threat of losing my amazing life-partner, I have had to slow down, divert energies, adjust expectations, and let some things go. I am learning to re-calibrate.

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Sometimes it’s danged hard.

I have dreams and wishes and goals that I want to see come to fruition.

I have projects and adventures I still want to experience.

But I have come to know that all I can do is the best I can.


So, if I could pass on a little snippet of what I’ve come to understand it would be this:


Giving yourself permission to just live and love and be grateful can be so rewarding.

Go find your inner child and be prepared to drop everything to rejoice with her.

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Stop waiting for the sky to open, your problems to vanish, the world to get better…


I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy! I’m not saying it’s gonna be perfect. I’m just saying…


Re-calibrate your life–throw out what no longer works for you or gives you pleasure or fills your heart with gratitude & wonder. Go eat a basket of strawberries with melted chocolate!

And remember, The Creative Cottage is a place to play, laugh, create, share, and delight your inner child…come on over…and bring some strawberries!

Wishing You Love & LIFE!


Mistress of Merriment

© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2018. All Rights Reserved.

Images with thanks from Pinterest.

By Kaitlin Meadows


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Our Cottage tribe has suffered many losses in the last few weeks–beautiful people called home unexpectantly, dreams dashed by reality, things breaking down and falling apart, and many tangled emotional muddles of one sort or another. The raging wild fires, spewing volcanoes, massive earthquakes, and divisive politics of our time all adding their own terror and pain to the world.

But the Cottage is our refuge, our solace, our heart-safe-place.  We meet there to make art that heals, to share talk that heals, and to exchange stories that heal. We meet there to join forces, to bolster our spirits, and to remind eachother that there is joy and laughter and friendship still in this world. 

We stick together. We ease, comfort, and uplift each other. We talk it out. We hug it out. We know when to be quiet and when to offer insight. Sometimes we just sit in circle, silent, sharing, crying, and remembering. We support eachother’s causes, buy tickets to eachother’s events, show up with food or sympathy or just plain sillinesss when appropriate…but always with love and sisterhood.

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We remind eachother that…

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We support eachother’s need to just take a breath, opt out for a spell on the sidelines, and return when we have renourished, rehydrated, and repaired ourselves. 

I keep the Cottage rent paid, the doormat swept, the coffee on, the glue and paint and scissors and art supplies stocked. You come when you can, with snacks and supplies to share, with broken hearts or exaltant news, with laughter or tears, and we spend happy hours safe, free, supported, and loved together. We give eachother permission..

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There are gifts in getting older. As I hobble toward my 72nd birthday, I think I’ve finally begun to “get it” (better late than never!)…life is short, love is long,  we waste soooo much precious time and energy on stupid stuff.

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You remind me (in the middle of all the good advice I give you!) that I have my own work to do, my own heartbreak’s to attend to, and my own fragile health & spirit to protect. You give me permission to prioritize myself when I need to.

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Though it is often a fierce swim upstream, in a strong current, in polluted waters, against impossible odds, I am determined to keep going, to carry the message we all need to hear…

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You help me spread the love–hold up the banner–walk the talk. You help me remember the rainbow at the end of the storm, the love that lingers after the loss, and the simple gifts of friendship in the isolation of grief…

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May we always help eachother swim upstream!

With Much Love,


©Copyright, KaitlinMeadows, 2018. All Rights Reserved.

By Kaitlin Meadows

Fierce Optimism

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This has always been my philosophy.

Like you, I’ve dealt with many hard things in my life. I’ve suffered many setbacks. I’ve had much pain, experienced much loss, and known much heartbreak.

But I REFUSE to be defined, constrained, or hobbled by it. I always get back up, dust myself off, dry my tears, bandage my wounds, and get back at the task of LIFE and living it as fully and happily as I can.

Last week, I candidly shared with you a very low point on the journey. Today I am here to report that I have worked through that low point (with your help) and am, again, firmly standing on high ground, refueled and eager to move upward again.


I am grateful for my resilient spirit. I am humbled by my powerful sensitivity and all that it does to awaken me to positive action. I am proud of my fierce optimism.

Some of you were a little peeved at me (out of love and concern) and worried that I was “killing myself” in the commission of acts of conscience. Some of you mentioned my heart attack. Others of you said the odds were too heavily stacked against all of us in these horrendous times and it was silly to spend so much time & energy fighting the demons. Some said I was “too soft” and needed to “toughen up” if I was going to survive in this cruel world.

But I beg to differ. I had a heart attack because I pushed stuff down–NOT because I acted on what troubled me. I am made sick by what I do NOT donot what I feel compelled by conscience and heart TO do!

I am a fierce optimist! My way is to

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I am a believer that we can all do SOMETHING, every single day, to make the world a little kinder, a little more gentle, and a lot less hateful–just by our determined commitment to being global citizens on the path of peace.

I subscribe to the notion that…

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but you DO have to show up when you are able and do what you can.

Last week, I was totally vulnerable and showed you my soft underbelly. I revealed my fear and sadness and exhaustion. I shared with you my very human low point in order to continue to inspire you that, even from that dark place, I could keep at the hard work of compassion and action.

My message, like Maya Angelou’s, is always…

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And that is what helped me up and over the hurdles that were blocking my path. I have the wisdom gleaned from over 70 years on the planet that…

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So, do not be worried for me–do not think me imprudent to care so much, do so much, be so much. It is WHO I AM. It is my path. I’m a fierce optimist in the face of almost every challenge life has presented me with.

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I REFUSE to think otherwise!

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My plan to combat the rigors of being a fierce optimist in the midst of such perversity and pessimism in the world is to remember that…

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and that…

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So please, find your way up the mountain, sing and dance and laugh and play along the way (preferably at the Creative Cottage!) but GET UP THE MOUNTAIN!

Do it your own way…I will do it mine…and may we meet at the sweet summit together; share our stories of ascent (and descent), lay out a luscious picnic of celebration for our sisters and brothers still struggling mightily up the hill beside us, and may we always… 

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With Love & Fierce Optimism,


© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2018. All Rights Reserved.

By Kaitlin Meadows


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Where in the world have I been?

Why have I been so unusually quiet?

Why haven’t I written a blog post, updated my Cottage classes, been available for fun activities, returned your phone calls, responded to your e-mails, or been out & about around town?

Is Albert okay? Am I okay?

What’s up with KaitieBug?


It’s complicated.

I’ve been struggling. Really struggling. Really really really struggling.

I’ve been sad. I’ve been ill. I’ve been overwhelmed. I’ve been deeply daunted by the escalating hatred, hostility, violence, and cruelty in our world.

I’ve been angry and bewildered and hopeless and sick.

It’s very rare for Susie Sunshine to be so down & out, but I confess I have been in a morass of darkness…a sea of despair…a deep well of depression.

I have felt depleted and lost. I have been immobilized by anxiety.

In these dark and troubled times, I am not proud to be an American.

 It’s not merely a difference of philosophy or a conflict of politics anymore. It’s a matter of human decency, honesty, morality, and conscience. 

I’m disgusted, disappointed, and demoralized.

I’ve written and called my representatives, I’ve been in the streets with thousands of other appalled citizens, and I’ve been doing all I can in my own small ways to raise the banner of tolerance and compassion…but, at the end of the day,

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But it has taken a huge toll.

My health has taken another dangerous turn, I’m not sleeping or eating properly, I’m not handling the heat well, and I’m stuck in an incredulous panic about the way the world is grinding down the rules of basic human kindness and civility as we become increasingly more brutal and heartless as a society.

sum 12

Teresa, one of the little girls I mentor, wrote a story about a crabby, bigoted, mean old woman who hated everyone and everything until she went blind and realized no one wanted to help her. She had always hated anyone who wasn’t white, anyone who wasn’t Christian, anyone who didn’t speak her language. She was mad that her neighborhood was changing and immigrants were moving in. She was resentful and mean-spirited. Her own children never called or visited. But one day, the old woman found a basket on her doorstep with fresh bread, jam, and peaches in it. Another day, after a big snow storm, she found her walkway shoveled. One night a woman came and offered to tidy the old woman’s house, wash her sheets, water her plants, weed her garden, in trade for some walnuts from her neglected tree. Some children came by after school and began to read to her in trade for borrowing some of her books. On the eve of a huge blizzard, a man came with a load of firewood in trade for the use of an old rusty shovel forgotten in her toolshed. Soon, she was surrounded by people who were helping her and her life became good and happy. On the day of her funeral, the little neighborhood chapel was full…Niema from Africa, Hassaum from Afghanistan, Renaldo from Mexico, Tieena from Puerto Rico, Moses Jefferson Brown, missing both legs from the Iraq War, were all there.

So I keep coming back to this:

sum 10

In the midst of my despair, I realize all I can do is continue to hold out my hand, carry the light, bring food and water and solace and heart to those who need it most, and stand the high ground; hopefully with you by my side.

sum 8

All we can do is gather in prayer and peace and gratitude and hope and action. All we can do is pour into the streets, stand at the barricades, lift our voices, raise our ideals, sing our songs of tolerance and inclusiveness. All we can do is remember that we are not alone…that there are people all over the world who stand with us, who cry with us, who are outraged and heart-sick and moved to action with us.

sum 6

Don’t give up. Don’t stop crying or caring. Don’t stop being a part of the outcry against hatred, violence, and war. Take a breath, shake off the despair, and find a way to help. Somehow. Find a way to help.

sum 11


sum 7

Through the tears…

With Much Love,


© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2018. All Rights Reserved.


By Kaitlin Meadows