I’m having a very sloooow start to the New Year, how about you? Can’t quite get myself into gear, still have a trillion things “to do” on my 2019 “must do” list, and I’m feeling decidedly torn between worlds as I race back and forth between our home in Tucson and our new home in Julian…but, slowly, slowly I’m beginning to embrace the new decade by making lots of excited plans for AFTER the BIG MOVE!
The BIG MOVE is absorbing every ounce of my attention and energy. Sometimes, I wake up not quite sure where I am, Tucson or Julian. I have a hundred lists scrawled on ragged bits of paper, the backs of hardware store receipts, and in odd pockets of my purse. I’m juggling lots of kind helpers and many busy professionals, delayed deliveries and unexpected setbacks.
My quiet, rural life is, for the next few weeks, totally up-ended and in complete chaos. I never get a chance to unpack my bag before having to grab it and race off again. I’ve lost my “day planner” at least a dozen times and my car keys seem to find the most unusual places to hide! Meals are hit & miss, sleep is illusive, and days race by without me being quite certain where they went.
Thanks to my dear friends for reminding me that “chaos is creative” and sending me this quote, which I have taken to heart: “All great changes are preceded by chaos.”
Our cozy home in Tucson is a war zone of boxes and disassembled life. It’s utter chaos but, by the tiniest of little steps, we are getting closer to the day we will FINALLY move to California and I must happy myself with that thought–even when I can’t find my other shoe, I’ve lost the dimensions of the new kitchen, or I’ve waited all day for a delivery that, alas, was “re-scheduled” without notifying me.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
I’m trying to remind myself that
In many HUGE ways. Leaving our wonderful WildHeart Ranch after nearly two decades is the biggest part. Passing the Creative Cottage forward to the amazing artistic tribe that has loved it with me for nearly a decade is another. But leaving the loving circle of so many intense friendships I’ve made in Tucson is, perhaps, the hardest part of all.
I’m excited by all the new horizons I am walking toward, thrilled to have a little smaller home to tend to, and I’ll be so pleased to be back in the green mountains, nearer the blue sea. But the transition is soooo challenging and I’m no “spring chick” anymore so the demanding physicality of moving takes a more intense toll than it used to.
But, it will be worth it. It will.
If I can just get through it!
And out the other side.
Home at last!
I have to keep whispering to myself that the huge risk, the intense work, the wishes and hopes, the dreams and prayers, will all be worth it when my beloved Albert is safely tucked in by the fire, reading and smiling. That’s what keeps me going when I’m tired and cranky, hungry and blue.
Daring is worth it. Dreaming is worth it. Doing is worth it!
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
Meanwhile, please forgive me for not answering all your kind calls and emails, for not being there for all the important events or cool activities, for being a lot more scatter-brained than usual (are you smiling at that?), and for not staying in the best of touch these days.
Please forgive me for being a little behind on the Cottage transition plan and the promised jumble sales. Please know that I love you and that we will, indeed, have a big transition party soon and the jumble sale tables will be overflowing with good stuff to share. And, please, keep us in your prayers as we navigate the perilous path from one home to another.
Thank you for all the thoughtful notes and encouraging emails, for all the offers of help and solace. Please know that despite a life-time of being less than easy on myself, I’m trying to remember to treat myself gently through all of this…to just take it one minute at a time…and to endlessly repeat this new mantra…
But you also need to know that sometimes I’m scared to death. This whole adventure is HUGE for a 73 year old woman and an 82 year old man to undertake. Uprooting is never easy and so many things are completely out of our control. There is so much sorrow mixed with our hope of more joy. Leaving Tucson (WildHeart, The Creative Cottage, & so many wonderful friends) will be soooooo hard. But we must and so we will.
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
More news soon, “official” moving date scheduled for the first week of February (if the creeks don’t rise & we’re not plunged into another world war), and I hope you remember (even when you can’t see my silly, freckled face grin, that I am sending so much love and gratitude for your friendship.
Happy, Happy New Year!
Please work, dare, dream your own new adventures!
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