Coasting On Empty

christmas-boots

Happy Holidays!

Just sittin’ down here “fer a spell” to catch you up on all my adventures amidst the hectic preparations for our BIG move from Tucson, Arizona to Julian, California. Whoooosh–what a process!

Everybody warned me about all the possible setbacks, delays, unexpected problems, and impossible deadlines I was likely to experience…but (Suzie Sunshine that I am!) I was waaaaay too excited to take heed. Trust me, over the last several weeks, we’ve experienced them all. And then some! Workmen, suppliers, unexpected but vitally important necessary repairs to the house. Snow! Mismatched paint. Electrical issues. Yikes!

But I’m learning (well, I’m trying to learn!) to

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I had this totally unrealistic idea (daaaaaa!) that we could spend Christmas in our new home. Poooof–what was I thinking? Our new timeline is that we’ll be able to move the first week of February and celebrate Valentine’s Day together, all tucked in and settled, in Julian. (And that’s IF every danged thing stays on track.)

I hadn’t figured on all the stress and heartache involved…I hadn’t properly factored in that I’m an old, broken-down crone with a smaller pool of energy and stamina than I once had. For sure, I hadn’t really thought about the zillions of flooring options out there. I hadn’t realized that everything about trying to get into a new house involves money, money, money, and time, time, time!

But, finally, I’ve begun to understand that

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I’ve been soooo blessed to have dear friends Allan, Arnie, and Mark doing most of the carpentry and painting. I’ve had many flashes of good fortune in the midst of terrible setbacks. The progress has been very slow but steady and strong. Our families have been amazingly enthusiastic and financially generous. There have been far more blessings than defeats.

We are determined, despite all the fears and fatigue, all the worries and setbacks, to bravely keep going, to realize our dream, and to make this HUGE leap of faith work!

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I’ll admit, several times, along the way, I’ve wondered what the heck I was thinking when I thought I could do this. Several times I’ve nearly given up hope that I could. A few times I’ve thought, “well maybe, we should just stay put here and not venture there” but always, at the end of the day, after a bath, when I’m in my p.j.s dreaming what it will be like to kayak on the lake or climb the piney woods trail, my spirits lift and my dreams come back into focus, and I forge on.

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Because our new home is smaller and cozier and I won’t have my own land around me to stretch out on, I’ve begun the very painful process of sifting through decades of “collections” (a nicer word than hoards!) and letting go of a thousand “things” (a kinder word than “stuff”)…but it’s tougher than I thought. Memories, stories, remembrances about each thing…”what if I might need this?”…maybe in my new home I’ll be able to finish this old project that I started years ago or read these zillion books I’ve collected…and how about all these rusty treasures that I LOVE?…these ponderings make “letting things go” even harder.*

But I just have to…

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(* P. S. I’ll be having a few BIG jumble sales at the Cottage in late January to help pass lots of my cool things forward to others who can use them and it makes me happy to think that many of my “treasures” will find happy new homes!)

I must admit, sometimes I get really, really scared. This is a HUGE life change! I’m going to miss all of you and the Cottage so much! I’m going to miss my magical WildHeart Ranch. But I’m learning, slowly, painfully,

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This whole experience is teaching me

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and reminding me that without risk there cannot be reward.

When I get frustrated that the timeline keeps getting hijacked by unexpected delays, I try to remember that

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and I congratulate myself on believing that

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(especially if it doesn’t kill you!)

For now, I am wishing you and yours so much love and happiness through what can be a challenging holiday time for many…I wish

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Albert and I are celebrating a very quiet, modest, private,  no-frills, home-body Christmas, our last at WildHeart, and though we can’t do our traditional parties, gifts, cards, gatherings, and all the usual fa-la-la that we are famous for, we are sending you our love and a small glowing ember of HOPE that you and yours are safe & warm & celebrating in your own merry ways.

More news soon…take good care of each other…be kinder than usual…be grateful…try not to get swept up in any seasonal frenzy, guilt, stress, or sadness… and remember that your friend Kaitlin is sending you love, light, and her heart-felt belief in dreams!

Happy Holidays!

With Love & Gratitude,

Kaitlin

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© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2019. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

By Kaitlin Meadows

6 comments on “Coasting On Empty

  1. Have a wonderful calm as possible Merry Christmas. Sounds like you are making wonderful progress and will be here in spring! Love you both, ……Annie

  2. I so identify with so many of your feeling about this change. I can “feel your pain” but also the excitement of change. Much love to you and Albert through this holiday season and the future ahead ❣️ Love, Sharon McD

    Sent from McD

    >

    • Thanks so much–you more than most can really understand the emotional tugs and the impatient excitement–both very real and poignant and wonderful and scary! Thanks for your encouragement–may we both soon not be between worlds and find our forever nests! Love From KaitieBug

  3. Hello! I know exactly what you are going through right now! I am a fiber artist (felt) and my husband and I went through the identical “sorting” process two years ago when we moved not to another state but to another country…France. We are now sort of settled and since we did this move in our 70’s we learned lots about what we can and cannot accomplish. All will be well once you reach your new home. All the best to you!

    • Thank you Maarja for sharing your adventure–so happy to hear it can be done. So humbling to learn your move was to another country and mine is just to another state. Love fiber arts and can’t imagine what it must have been like to move all your creative supplies, Stay well and happy and know I am sending hugs. Kaitie

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