Life, for me, is getting so much more difficult. My Sweetheart is increasingly ill with his cancer and needing more and more of my care. There are endless “asks” for my energy and attention. The demands of my various responsibilities are ramping up. Summer is coming to Tucson and I absolutely dread the months of pure inferno heat ahead. Not to mention, the world is teetering on the brink of utter disaster.
How do I keep going?
I invest heavily in the notion that the only way forward is through. So, I just keep chugging along, singing a song, trying to muddle through, and even if I’m not sure I’m making much forward progress, I’m NOT giving up! There’s too much at stake.
I collect inspiration everywhere I go: art, music, science, poetry, tuva throat singers…but, at the end of the day, what really motivates me is the power and grace of women aspiring to rise. I firmly believe
So every day, no matter what, I suit up and join the ranks, put my shoulder to the wheel, throw my heart into the fray, and add what good I can to the mix. I am inspired to keep going by women all over the world, in more challenging straits than mine, in the face of more woes; wars, famines, genocides, who keep the faith alive that we can make a difference.
I firmly believe…
So, I can’t give up. I’m an activist, a witness, a warrior, a worker, a healer, a poet, an elder. It’s my job to show up. To pitch in. To do what I can. To make sure
I have to keep my eyes open. I have to keep my ears open. I have to keep my heart open. My work is to be fully present–no matter what. There is work to do. I have been called.
Believe me, there is plenty to do. We all have a place in the struggle.
Many have come before us…and many will come after us. We can only do what we can…but we must all do all we can. The world needs us!
There is no more holding us down. No more shushing us. We are determined…
My work with women in transition, young women in crisis, mothers who are torn from their children, crones who have been marginalized and dismissed–my work is to listen, to help heal, to love. It’s not to “fix” anything. It’s not to “change the world” or end its evils. It’s just to show up and do the best I can.
We may not live to see the changes we want.We may not survive to see the world in peace. But we must keep at the task. We must support each other. We must uplift candidates that speak for us, protect and enhance our rights, and welcome us into the realms of power that can make the world a better place.
We must protect our food and water and air. We must support the women of the world who know more than we do about scarcity and diminished resources and living in harmony with nature.
We must VOTE and urge our sisters to vote in every country around the world.
I’m no super-woman! I don’t have any magical powers or super-hero sidekicks.
I’m a 72 year old feminist anarchist artist healer poet who’s seen and done and been a lot. But I’m no big thing. I have no illusions about that.
Some days I’m exhausted. Down. Depleted. Disappointed. Deeply distressed.
Often, I have too much on my plate, there are not enough hours in the day, and my Beloved needs far more of me than I have left to give. These days, (much to my huge chagrin), I have to miss deadlines, cancel dates, release my very high expectations of myself, and suspend pretty much all my “shoulds” in favor of being fully present in the complicated, tangled, demanding narrative of the moment.
Right now, I have to let go of offering Cottage classes this month, meeting up with friends for fun excursions, finishing up my final project for my Book Arts class at Pima College, and pretty much everything else in my life cuz my Sweetheart is very ill and we are just trying to hold on to every moment we have with love.
That’s just part of the deal. It’s the only choice I can, in good conscience, make. But choosing to stay stuck there is a choice I will not make. There is too much beauty in this world–too much hope–too many people who are helping lift the load for me when I falter.
I’m doing the very best I can. And that’s all I can do. It has to be enough.
So, whatever challenges you are facing, whatever your struggles, no matter how hard and steep and fraught with perils your path is…please remember…
At the end of these very long days, these very emotional days, these very stressful days, I am still inspired to keep going. Because you are coming with me, because you are doing your part, because there is power and grace in our sisterhood and, together, together we can RISE!
In Solidarity & Love,
© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2019. All Rights Reserved.