It’s Complicated

march-17-15

It’s complicated.

Life. Love. Family. Politics.

Work. Friends. Responsibilities. Politics.

Health. Sanity. Projects. Politics.

It’s complicated.

Sometimes sublime.

Frequently scary.

Always intense.

One way or the other,

Never a dull moment!

march-17-5

I know you’ve been worried about me.

Calling…e-mailing…wondering what’s up with Kait.

Well, it’s certainly been interesting times….

I think you’ll agree.

The shock & awe takes a daily toll.

It’s hard not to be pulled under.

Some days I manage to stay afloat

only by sheer will & gumption.

Mostly, I’m just hangin’ in here

because I’m determined

NOT to give up…

on peace…on love…on kindness…on miracles!

kind I’ve seriously had to recalibrate my life…

since the heart attack,

since the election,

since I began to understand

that a huge shift 

was happening in my life.

I needed to pull in,

get quiet,

ponder deeply,

and try to figure out

how the heck

to move forward again.

I learned that

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So, for the last couple of weeks

I’ve been trying to find my way:

looking for signs,

reading tea leaves,

taking the pulses

of our times.

Like you,

I’ve been confused…

muddled…

anxious…

angry…

scared…

and holding my breath.

But

march-17-14

That’s been my healing balm.

That is why I haven’t managed to write a blog post

or conjure a March schedule

of Cottage classes and events.

That’s why

I’ve been out of touch.

That’s why

I’m still a little

bruised & battered.

But here’s the good news:

I made it through the strict six month probation period since the heart attack!

There was great concern among the docs that I might not bounce back at all.

But with the loving care of my Beloved Albert

and your beautiful friendship,

march-17-1

I am very gratefully still here!  

Mind you, I’m not a 100%

and I’ve been warned

that I will never be again,

but I’m trying to get used to operating

at about 50% (with naps).

It’s been sooooooo humbling.

And disconcerting.

As you know,

I’m used to running at 150%!

Fully present.

Totally engaged.

Utterly over-committed.

More good news: I’ve gained a whole new respect

for healthy boundaries

and unapologetic self-care.

I’m really learning to prioritize

what really matters!

march-17-11

So, this is just a little note

to let you know

 I’ll be unplugged

for another week please.

I’m gonna stay home with Sweetie

and do some more healing and enjoying.

stay-at-home-gypsy

Talk among yourselves.

Cultivate all the joy you can.

Know that I am sending such love

and gratitude,

(AND a big, goofy KaitieBug grin!)

More soon.

Really.

Soon.

I’ll be back.

Please hold my place in your lives.

Take very good care of yourselves.

Peace Out,

Kait

P.S. Such happy memories of my sister Kim’s visit and so glad so many of you got to spend magical, creative time with her. She’s a huge part of my heart! Next blog post full of pictures and stories from our high-jinx together!

sisiters-feb-17

© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows. All Rights Reserved. 2017.

 

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12 comments on “It’s Complicated

  1. Hi Kaitlin,
    Beautiful blog,
    You take care of yourself and know we love you.
    I took my little girl to see In the Heights and sat in one of the boxes. She loved it and wants to go to school there so she can be in plays.
    Love you and take care Audrey

    • Thanks dear Audrey…it was such a pleasure to have you at fairy making class and I’m so proud of your work with your little girl! You are a beautiful soul. Love kait

  2. Hi, Kaitlin, even though ‘it’s complicated’, or, maybe because of it, you are a great mentor, reminding us about the importance of self-care, rest, listening to our bodies, honoring ourselves. Maybe 50% is the perfect number now. Enjoy this time, revel in the beauty of the moment, then share your ah ha’s, and remind us to do the same 💜

  3. Dear Kaitlin,
    Although we don’t know each other very well, the few times I have shared with you at your Cottage have been joyfully rejuvenating. I do keep up with you via your posts and send you blessings for a full recovery as you create a new collage of your life moving forward. Thank you for the light you bring to the world.✨💖✨
    Nancy Mellan

    • Nancy,
      It’s a pleasure to know that another dear soul & light-bringer celebrates life with me…even through the thin blue ether. Blessings of the season to you and please come play again soon. Vernal Well Wishes, Kait

  4. Dearest Kaitlin, Please take the time you need to regroup. I love the time spent at the cottage with you and the other girls, such a refreshing enviornment!.Love you and please take care
    Morgan

  5. Hi Kaitlin!

    Glad you are working it out. Funny…it dawned on me sometime late Friday that I might have signed up for “First Friday” and spaced it. Apparently not. I know it’s hard for you to slow it down to 98% after running at 150% for decades…maybe your whole life. You are so passionate about so much and have always pushed and been on the go with fingers in many a pie. Must feel very weird to not be doing it that way and yet, you got the memo in the form of the heart attack and must heed it’s message. Yes, life is messy and complicated, full of stressful events and painful things. Just part of the program. It is also full of love, laughter, fun, friends, family and beauty. Keep making time for you and Albert to spend time together, in Nature and don’t worry about us. We’re big girls and should be able to take care of ourselves and find other ways to feed our souls while you take a needed break. Congrats on making it past the panic point. Keep on relaxing and taking time outs. Big, bright blessings, sweet lady! Love, Kim

    ________________________________

    • O how very beautiful dear Kim–thanks so much for your nourishing friendship and continuing on this madcap adventure with me, through laughter and hard times. You a pure joy and I send my love & gratitude for you on this earth! Kait

  6. My dear friend Kaitlin,
    Know that you are loved…..you are a VERY SPECIAL person in our lives….
    sending healing hugs and love…….thanks for all the wonderful memories of shared good times….hope to see you sometime soon…..
    I know I’ll see you in my dreams now & then….
    hugs ski & sandi. ❤

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