Lately I’ve been lamenting…
about feeling old (and in the way)…
crotchety & dowdy.
I am less able to run & leap & dare & dream
and more inclined to just putter at home
than go out and save the world.
war, famine, plague, and unmitigated cruelty
have shaken me to the core.
Dear family members
and many beloved friends
are going through incredibly hard times
with health, financial, and family challenges.
I find myself less able to multi-task these days.
Juggling too many balls in mid-air
just doesn’t appeal to me anymore.
I’m having had a hard time adjusting
to our highly technological (and thus, less human) world.
Suddenly, it seems,
I have so little time left
to have all the big adventures
I was sure I’d already have by now!
I remember thinking as a child that no one
was gonna take the “wild” out of me.
I was determined never to grow up.
Never to conform.
Never to be afraid to live the wild, succulent life I dreamed of!
And then complexities of real life ensnared me.
Surviving a less than ideal childhood.
Getting a college education.
Jobs. Marriage. Kids. Career. Divorce.
Death. Disappointment. Set-backs.
Joy. Accomplishment. Travel.
What happened to the wild, excited child in me?
This week I got to thinking…
most of the stuff that “held me back”
or constrained me into being a “good girl”
is long gone.
I don’t have to impress a soul,
or live up to my “potential”
or “strive” in general.
I can reclaim my wildness now.
Wear what I like…(comfortable, colorful, arty),
Go where I like… (gray-haired ladies are almost invisible!)
Stay up until 3 a.m. working on an art journal page.
I can speak my mind
without fear I might be “over-stepping my bounds”
or, “gosh o’ mighty, heaven forbid!”
saying something “politically incorrect.”
I no longer fret about what others think of me
or fuss about how my hair looks.
I simply, happily, and FINALLY
feel at home in my own skin,
at peace with my own life,
able to remember
and to forget,
learning something new everyday
but continuing to honor archaic values,
I am free now to live my own life:
not my mother’s or the nun’s lives,
not the lives of my friends or
those who might judge.
The Wild Woman is coming back…
lumbering out of her safe cave…
stretching and hungry,
curious and eager
and ready to reclaim my wild & succulent life!
Won’t you join me?
Cottage classes for April & May are now posted–
(click on the Creative Cottage Classes tab above).
you deserve it–
if not now,
Make a commitment to yourself
to make room for friendship and laughter
and the deep solace of good women
gathered in circle, sharing their lives.
Remember your Wild Woman
and let her come out to play!
(And there will be chocolate!)
© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2016. All Rights Reserved.