“STEAM” OF CONSCIOUSNESS

creative people

Here’s some soul babbling–what one of my young mentees calls “steam of consciousness!” And steam it is…born from the stewing cauldron that has been this long, hot summer.

Working with my Girlz With HeART Program all summer at our Creativity Camp has been exhausting, exhilarating and soooo much fun! And, as usual, I am learning quite a lot about myself in the process!

At Creativity Camp we stress leadership, intelligence, compassion, and service. These are the elements of a life well-lived in my book. In my own life I’ve always been driven to “do the right thing,” be thoughtful, energetic, and self-effacing.

But underneath all those “virtues” was a keen sense that I was not quite enough. Never quite smart enough, never quite “good” enough, never quite “accomplished” enough.

I know, I know…silly to take humility to such an extreme. Silly to join the legions of women with so little sense of self-worth. But it was, as I say, it was sold to me as a “virtue” to be cultivated. And I was nothing if not obedient to high expectations.

But…

don't believe

That’s the advice I give the Girlz about their own “story”–one often blighted by abuse, neglect, and a very strong message that they are not wanted. I tell the Girlz not to believe that sad story but to “rescript” it to become one brimming with promise and potential.

Have I not been listening to these lessons myself?

So, lately, I’ve come to practice the very fine art of believing in myself. It has been a bumpy road and, sometimes, I slide comfortably back into beating myself up for some (mostly) imagined short-coming, but, more often than not now, I trust that the life I’m living embodies all the “virtues” I know to be real–kindness, creativity, service, and leadership.

maya2

Working with the Girlz has taught me to live my best life, to think my highest thoughts, and to believe that I am doing my best life’s work.

create

I know now that I am on the path that lifts my soul to the light, that is the culmination of all the very hard lessons my life has brought me. The life I live now best uses my real “virtues,” the ones that live in my heart and not in my head.

When in doubt, I always revert to the values learned in my hippie years, when I lived collectively with a band of merry pranksters who honored the land and fashioned a simple, “small footprint” life that focused on hard work, joy, music, and community involvement. 

hippie thoughts

These virtues are my “religion” and they have always served me very well.

So now I practice what I preach. I feel blessed by my life…however much more of it I am gifted to have left.

I have a new mantra…

Mary Oliver

And that is the message I want you to embrace from these warblings…from my “steam of consciousness”…

Live your best life. Push back the obstacles. “Rescript” the tired old story that you are not being enough or doing enough!

Am-I-Enough-janine-adamo

And celebrate this, as I do…

focus

May the universe bless you!

Love to you from the Mistress of Merriment–who IS enough, who DOES enough, and who HAS enough!

© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2015. All Rights Reserved.

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6 comments on ““STEAM” OF CONSCIOUSNESS

  1. Being mentally gifted is a terrific burden for there is an awareness of potential and of the many needs and it is really difficult to live a simple life. Jesus did it and look how he changed the world! – mari

    • Thanks so much Barbara–Maya Angelou is one of the people who shaped and guided my life in a million ways–she was funny and courageous and just plain AWESOME as a person who walked her talk and aged with tremendous grace & spirit!

  2. Oh Kaitlin…. not only should you not believe everything you think (because you are so good, kind, smart, funny, creative, etc. enough, that you are making the rest of us look lazy) but sometimes it’s good to stop and reflect on “Just where did this thought come from anyway!” That’s why I love that line from the ghost busters movie…. “I didn’t thing of anything, did you think of anything? I didn’t think of anything, it just popped in there!”

  3. Dearest Marnie~
    You are so kind to me and my powerful, wise partner in these ventures and dreams and fall downs and get ups and try again’s. Our long afternoon talks, road trips to Peoria, and beach bunny blitzs make my life so happy! Thank you for hangin’ with me as I grow up to be the woman you believe I can be! Love you Marnie!

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