Here’s some soul babbling–what one of my young mentees calls “steam of consciousness!” And steam it is…born from the stewing cauldron that has been this long, hot summer.
Working with my Girlz With HeART Program all summer at our Creativity Camp has been exhausting, exhilarating and soooo much fun! And, as usual, I am learning quite a lot about myself in the process!
At Creativity Camp we stress leadership, intelligence, compassion, and service. These are the elements of a life well-lived in my book. In my own life I’ve always been driven to “do the right thing,” be thoughtful, energetic, and self-effacing.
But underneath all those “virtues” was a keen sense that I was not quite enough. Never quite smart enough, never quite “good” enough, never quite “accomplished” enough.
I know, I know…silly to take humility to such an extreme. Silly to join the legions of women with so little sense of self-worth. But it was, as I say, it was sold to me as a “virtue” to be cultivated. And I was nothing if not obedient to high expectations.
That’s the advice I give the Girlz about their own “story”–one often blighted by abuse, neglect, and a very strong message that they are not wanted. I tell the Girlz not to believe that sad story but to “rescript” it to become one brimming with promise and potential.
Have I not been listening to these lessons myself?
So, lately, I’ve come to practice the very fine art of believing in myself. It has been a bumpy road and, sometimes, I slide comfortably back into beating myself up for some (mostly) imagined short-coming, but, more often than not now, I trust that the life I’m living embodies all the “virtues” I know to be real–kindness, creativity, service, and leadership.
Working with the Girlz has taught me to live my best life, to think my highest thoughts, and to believe that I am doing my best life’s work.
I know now that I am on the path that lifts my soul to the light, that is the culmination of all the very hard lessons my life has brought me. The life I live now best uses my real “virtues,” the ones that live in my heart and not in my head.
When in doubt, I always revert to the values learned in my hippie years, when I lived collectively with a band of merry pranksters who honored the land and fashioned a simple, “small footprint” life that focused on hard work, joy, music, and community involvement.
These virtues are my “religion” and they have always served me very well.
So now I practice what I preach. I feel blessed by my life…however much more of it I am gifted to have left.
I have a new mantra…
And that is the message I want you to embrace from these warblings…from my “steam of consciousness”…
Live your best life. Push back the obstacles. “Rescript” the tired old story that you are not being enough or doing enough!
And celebrate this, as I do…
May the universe bless you!
Love to you from the Mistress of Merriment–who IS enough, who DOES enough, and who HAS enough!
© Copyright, Kaitlin Meadows, 2015. All Rights Reserved.